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Death Of A Child
- By Caren williams
- Published Wednesday 31st 2008
- Motivational
- Unrated
When someone loses a child, the people who come to see that person don't know as to what to say, even close family members struggle with this dilemma. So the simplest step that tend to take if follow Occam's Razor approach, - do whatever is the simplest, and quite often that is to do nothing.
The people who come to visit the person often choose to remain silent, not out of disrespect or because they don't care. It is not that, but according to me, I think that they do care but just don't know what to say to us. The condition is also very strange. You can't say anything, you can't remain silent as well. Many people are afraid to broach the subject of our child's death, because the whole situation will make everyone very sad. We are already sad! Nothing you can say or do will make us sadder.
But the fact is that by ignoring our child though, by not even taking the name of the child, it is as though he or she never existed. This hurts! Even if the you have interacted with the child at some point or the other, a nice remembrance of him or her would be so appreciated. Tell me, is there any mother in this world who does not want to talk about her child? Just because the child is no more or is suffering from any disease that his chances of survival are almost dull, that does not mean that we don't want to talk about them or hear their name.
You must remember while visiting the parent of the child that you must never compare the child's death to another's death. The truth is that now the child is no more. No matter how he/she died, they're gone. Now at present, we can not do anything about this issue. Just offer a simple heartfelt condolence if you didn't know him/her.
Never try to comfort the parents by telling these words like - "There now, don't cry." the facts no parents want to cry but at the same time you can't help them so please allow them to give in to their tears. Tears can be healing. At least for a particular period of time, they can feel healed up.
Please understand that they will never be the same person that you once knew. They will gradually change with time. Healing process will gradually happen. Till then give them some time.
The people who come to visit the person often choose to remain silent, not out of disrespect or because they don't care. It is not that, but according to me, I think that they do care but just don't know what to say to us. The condition is also very strange. You can't say anything, you can't remain silent as well. Many people are afraid to broach the subject of our child's death, because the whole situation will make everyone very sad. We are already sad! Nothing you can say or do will make us sadder.
But the fact is that by ignoring our child though, by not even taking the name of the child, it is as though he or she never existed. This hurts! Even if the you have interacted with the child at some point or the other, a nice remembrance of him or her would be so appreciated. Tell me, is there any mother in this world who does not want to talk about her child? Just because the child is no more or is suffering from any disease that his chances of survival are almost dull, that does not mean that we don't want to talk about them or hear their name.
You must remember while visiting the parent of the child that you must never compare the child's death to another's death. The truth is that now the child is no more. No matter how he/she died, they're gone. Now at present, we can not do anything about this issue. Just offer a simple heartfelt condolence if you didn't know him/her.
Never try to comfort the parents by telling these words like - "There now, don't cry." the facts no parents want to cry but at the same time you can't help them so please allow them to give in to their tears. Tears can be healing. At least for a particular period of time, they can feel healed up.
Please understand that they will never be the same person that you once knew. They will gradually change with time. Healing process will gradually happen. Till then give them some time.